Crossroads.

Our viewer "S" has written in with an issue, that we feel, isn't hers alone. There are many women out there who feel the same way. As women, our responsibilities sometimes take priority over a professional career. What's right ? What's wrong? How many of us find ourselves at the crossroads in mid-life? We request you, our viewers, to suggest, advise and answer.
I have never taken my career seriously; family commitments were given top priority always. In these days of inflation, I feel one must earn one own income, i.e. I want financial freedom. We have shifted to a new city recently, I am totally confused. I want to take up some work which will allow me to be at home when my children return from school.

- " S"

Your Comments

From my personal experience, & that i am free now ,with my children grown up,& are most of the time on their own,there is plenty of time left for me even after managing my house.but since i have not been working 4 such a long period, i feel no confidence to start working now,even though i am a talented women,time goes only in thinking rather than implementing .therefore I strongly feel women should be engouraged right from the begining to take up career.

Name :january

I dont agree with what most the people have to say....why a women should compromise as in if you really want to work become a teacher,why so every body has dreams and her own idea of choosing a career it is always at the end that the choise is left to take tusions or become tupperware agent ....what is this...kids are a reason for not working dont u think its fathers responsibility also to raise kids.or he gets less love or any kind of returns from kids which are less then what the mother gets....so why should the women put in all the efforts toraise kids, look after the household, look after the relatives coming in...if she wants or doent want she has to do things. it is not about working only it is about anything you want to do in life. if you dont wanna work dont work stay at home but not because of pressure. working or not working,doing anything or not doing should be by choice not by pressure.

Name :sonal

Yes I agree that I need to do something in such a way that I can satisfy my family and also myself. I am M.Sc, PGDCS. I  worked for ten years teaching. Due family responsibilities I left my job and I am at home for the past two years. After leading an extremely busy life and now opting to stay back in the house I definitely feel depressed at times and would like to do some job from home, as my husband is holding a very senior position as also a transferable job.

Name :K.V.Kameswari

Dear S well i fully understand yours scenario. as many of us Indian woman are often tied down with commitments ..I guess from the day we mature from being a girl to a woman .well u needing be disheartened as there are many women who face the same situation as yours and during these testing times you should not lose ur patience and strength. If you have a basic graduation degree then getting a job as a school teacher/lecturer should not be a problem .and if u feel that teaching is not your forte and if you are creative enough then you can give your creativity an outlet by taking up classes and imparting your talent to other people. or if you think your job should be hi-fi then you can work as a counselor in the various educational institutions as a part-timer .by taking up one of these options into considerations am sure your you can be at ease with ur self and also your family..goodluck and hope you get an outlet for al your talent

Name :prerna

It is the problem of all the working women. There are three categories among them. The ones who give top priority to their career will succeed in their field without thinking much about the family issues. The ones who prefer to stay at home and look after the kids will do it peacefully. The class of working women, who are interested in career as well as happy family life will face this kind of problem. The solution to this problem depends on your mental flexibility. You can avail the services of day care and go for regular work. Or else depending on your qualification, go for a part time job. If your qualification aren't enough to fetch a good part time job, you can opt for *direct marketing like Amway, Modicare products or *take up insurance agency *learn making some handicrafts which you can do it whenever you have free time ALL THE BEST!

Name :Ani

It is never too late to start a new career, provided you are ready to accept anything in the beginning and have the motivation to turn it into a meaningful career. I used to be a computer programmer; stayed home for 13 years and now working as a computer instructor. I do not allow myself to think that I would have been holding a responsible position had I not quit. My family is thriving very well and I am proud of my commitment to my family.

Name :Bina

I think these days u can work from home. take tuitions for 2 hrs a day learn medical transcription and start working from home or take up a part time job for the hours ur kids are not at home as i personally feel u need to go out and have some breathing space.

Name :samhita

Dear S Your thought of being financially independent is appreciable but the thought is too late. First of all when you married you should have made a clear choice as to whether you wanted to be a housewife or a career woman and then entered into matrimony. If at this stage with your children young enough to be attend to you now wish to be financially independent which is a wrong choice of time. In case you wish to work you could take work at home and earn money. But in the name of financial independence do not shirk your responsibility of taking care of the kids since they are used to having you at home and once they find you neglecting them which is bound to be as your attention will be diverted partly to your work too and these children will be psychologically be affected too. I think you could wait for some time till they are reasonably grown up and are able to understand what life is that you could decide to take job. In case you are financially too weak than you could tutor children including yours and be independent financially. At this stage of life you have to be more level headed and do not run after money. You could run your family the way you want depending on your listing of priorities. In case it is just to earn money to squander about or buying gadgets than you can still wait. I too have been working for the past thirty years but I had set myself a target and I followed the same and thanks to the almighty things went the way I wanted. When my children were teenagers I quit my government job only to be with them. So what i could not give them during their childhood that support i could give them when they really needed me. Today my children are earning and learning and I am free. Now I too am planning to take a job as I could use my talents and be of some help to the society and also earn something. Hope you take a wise decision and god bless you. Bye.

Name :shanta

You can take up a job, a teaching job, if it suits your profile. Otherwise you can start a own set up or business, which would not take much initial investment like start a beauty par lour at home or have a small grocery outlet or can teach students, if you are good in singing start singing class etc. All the best to your ventures.

Name :jyothi

It is not possible to serve others without serving oneself first. the decision you take must be one that you are comfortable with - without that resonance inside you, your actions will not be a effective as they should be. take up part-time work - there are many options. if money is a criteria, then tuitions, babysitting, handiwork etc are good options from home. if money is not a constraint, social work, spending time in old age homes or children's home, doing volunteer work, carrying out the management work of your local temple , researching a favorite temple or monument and writing to the paper about it, ... the options are endless. look around you and all the things that we wish the Government or "someone" would do, you can do. The difference will do to your life will be immense. even something as individual as learning a new language or skill will make you feel better about yourself and that is at the core of our wellbeing. All the best.

Name :shubha

Financial independence is a good thing to happen to a woman. However, it should not be at the cost of the family. WE, Indian women have this advantage of being natural homemakers. I am sure, all of you out there will consider me to be a supporter of the male species. However, on the contrary, I support the financial independence a woman can enjoy. If you feel so strongly about wanting to be independent, you can give tuitions at home. That way, you can be around for your children when they need you and your desire for working is also fulfilled. Otherwise, if you are good with your hands, then make some small handicrafts and try and sell them. The other option is to cook lunch boxes for people. It may not be an appealing idea, but does have the potential for money. However if your husband has a transferable job, having a full time career will be difficult, unless and until you take a firm decision to stay rooted to the hometown where your parents live or where you want to live.

Name :Jyoti Bhat

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