Shyamala groaned when she heard the doorbell ring. She was sure that it was her next-door neighbour, Mrs. Sharma, coming to share with her the latest juicy gossip in her area. She cringed at the prospect of listening to something that went against her beliefs and values – talking behind people’s backs. Always, after a visit from her dear neighbour, Shyamala would end up feeling unclean, a feeling of having lowered her value system by stooping to listen to gossip. She wished she had had the courage and the integrity to let Mrs. Sharma know that she had neither time nor inclination for this.

This is a situation most familiar. How many of you have compromised on your integrity and principles and done things you should not have done, because you did not have the backbone to stand up for what is important– your value system?

The principle of good living lies in not lowering the standards you have set for yourself. Your standards are your props, your basis for a strong, spiritual foundation. It is the wise and wonderful centre on which you must base your life’s decisions.

The great poet W.B Yeats says, “If the centre cannot hold, things fall apart. The falcon cannot hear the falconer”. How true! When our standards fall or bend, things go mad and chaotic. We become more distanced from our moral and spiritual centre. Life will not flow easily.

It is easy in this busy and materialistic society to lose sight of what really matters – your integrity.

If you can keep sight of what is really important, your daily troubles will be insignificant and you can live life the way you wish to.

Know your own standards. Set your rules and follow them.

Be honest to yourself so that you can meet your eyes in the mirror.

Decide on how much money means to you. Don’t accept or do something even if it pays, if it goes against your standard.

Learn to firmly say ‘No’ to gossip, if you’ve set a standard of not backbiting.

If you have a standard of not carrying your work back home, don’t do it. Learn to decline.

If you have set yourself a standard of resolving issues face to face, do it promptly instead of taking recourse to a phone call or a letter.

If you’ve set a standard of not allowing your children to watch certain types of movies, don’t compromise, even if your neighbour next door allows her children to do so.

You have to learn to read your internal censor correctly. Don’t allow others to interpret for you. You all have your own standards of integrity.

Be faithful to that. It’s time to stiffen your backs and straighten your spines.