Gita was tired and hungry. She had a splitting headache. All she longed for was a nice, hot cup of tea and a chance to lie down for some time. But the minute she reached her house, her hopes were doomed. Her mother and daughter were waiting for her eagerly. Gita’s heart sank.

It was her daughter’s birthday tomorrow. Her husband was out of town and Gita had to take them out shopping. Her mind baulked at the number of things she had to do by tomorrow. She had promised her daughter a grand party but she had no leave. She had to go to the office tomorrow. She also felt resentful of her husband’s job, which took him away at the most important times in his family’s life. She also knew that her daughter longed for his presence. But as usual, she would have to be content with a phone call.

Gita was tired of being both father and mother to her children, along with the travails of holding a full time job.

This has become a familiar scenario in most modern families – feeling fractured, scattered, torn to pieces by the competing demands of work and home.

It’s easy, like Gita to feel lost in the thorny underbrush and swamplands of daily existence. Sometimes, life can seem like little more than a blur of busy work, delays, interruptions, changes and conflicts. By the time, you walk in the door at home, or finish the housework for the day; many of you are firmly seized by the mindset of work. Loose ends, knotted muscles, lost energy. Unexpected bills. Financial headaches. Recurring worries about your children and their future. And to top it all, the never-ending list of things that have to be done – errands, transporting the kids, balancing the household budget, cleaning, laundry. There’s always something.

A woman’s work is never done. How true! Especially women who have to manage both work and home. The feeling of being the ‘least’ at home even ‘when’ at home is becoming more intense. The need to maintain a firm balance has thus become very important.

The first strategy for greater life balance between work and family, comes from finding innovative new ways to ease away from your job and leave work behind. Because, no matter what your work, the rhythm of your job is considerably different and probably more intense than that found at home.

Evolve a personal plan to devote the last ten to fifteen minutes of your working day for your least pressured tasks such as answering phone calls, tidying up or ruminating about the work for the next day.

Make the most of your time when you are returning home, by either listening to some soothing music or visualising some beautiful images of ‘home sweet home’.

This kind of mental release, of fond memories, sights, sounds, hugs and smiles, laughter and affection, is a powerful way of putting your day to rest. It draws your mood towards the slower rhythm of home, helping to make the journey feel less rushed and the arrival less hurried.

Even when you reach home, set a rule for yourself and make your family aware of it.

Relax and soak in the soothing ambience of your home.

Put up your feet, have a leisurely cup of tea, unwind, take a shower or a hot bath and change into comfortable clothes before you hurl yourself into the domestic scene.

This five to ten minutes of time is essential. Don’t deprive yourself of it. Problems will not run away. Just make sure that you are in a fit frame of mind to handle them.

Share your workday with your family members. Try not to seem complaining or frustrated. But if the urge is there to pour out your woes, do so when you feel relaxed and when your family seems more receptive. Preferably after dinner.

Stop looking at your schedule. If you let one or two days pass without performing some housework, like laundering or providing nutritional well-cooked meals for your family, don’t beat yourself with guilt. Dirty clothes and fast food will not kill your family, but your ill health certainly will. So, go easy. Wait for the weekend to handle tasks that can be put on hold.

Above all, its important to make it clear to one and all that your time spent alone is not a punishment for your family; it’s a special and essential break for you.

You need not always be at the beck and call of your family, just because you feel guilty about not spending sufficient time with them.