The Zen of playing hostess

The key to being a good hostess is to be in a clear and calm frame of mind. Never entertain for the sake of entertaining    "O my God! They've called us over thrice. Now it's my turn." It doesn't work that way. Only entertain when you have the time, energy and mind set to be pleasing and to enjoy yourself.

• Your job as hostess is to relax, see that food and drink are a plenty, get people to talk together and keep the music and magic going.
  
  
• Make your guest list interesting. Think and plan before you call. Bring interesting groups together. Mix old friends and new. Create an event that will be remembered as a meeting of minds and tastes.
  
  
• While it's okay to call people by telephone, a formal gathering deserves a more elegant approach. Like a hand-written invitation.
  
  
• Lighting and music should create an ambience that relaxes the guests.
  
  
• You can't go wrong with candles. Avoid aroma candles though. Not everyone likes them.
  
  
• Look your best. Not for the others. That too, but mostly, for yourself.
  
  
• Seat people cleverly to keep conversations balanced.
  
  
• Food must be good, but definitely not the focus of the evening.
  
  
• Nothing is more boring than a sharing of recipes at a formal dinner.
  
  
• Worse yet is the hostess who fusses in the kitchen right through.
  
  
• When accidents happen. the spill, the fall, or the oops of any kind, make light of it, deal with it. Don't dwell on it.
  
  
• When it's all over, do thank your guests for coming over.
  
  
• See them to the door.

Cocktail culture

• Traditionally, a cocktail party is a pre-dinner gathering where the guests enjoy a couple of drinks and accompaniments. Today, it is an event in itself, although dinner is still not served. Dress codes are in, and planning is in order.

• Do specify the time and try and stick to it, else you might be embarrassed by lingering, hungry guests.

• Have a fair number of people and enough drinks to go round.

• Serve the right type of finger foods. Salty is better than sweet.

• Do have non-alcoholic drinks, soda and punch for the teetotallers.

• Leave small plates and suitable cutlery around. Tissue paper and paper napkins must be handy.

• Do not assume that plain old water is not necessary. Leave plenty of it around.

• Play some music. Vary it according to the crowd and mood. Keep it soft.

• Keep circulating. Introduce everyone. Encourage movement in the room. Huddling and cosy groups can spoil the fun for the others.

• Keep the conversation flowing with the spirits. Soar high!